a hard lesson

I made a big mistake and I'm paying for it. The Bible

asks the question, "Can two walk together, except they be in

agreement?" (Amos 3:3). How true! God's Word is filled

with good advice. If only we would heed it!

A little more than two years ago I was befriended by an

attorney who wanted to involve me in a youth mentoring program.

Everything he said sounded so good, but he was not a Christian.

And even though God's Word says not to yoke up and enter into

any kind of partnership with such a person, I tried to reason

it out. I teamed up with this man. My motives were good. I

wanted to do the right thing. But because I did not follow the

Bible's instructions in this matter, I went off course. After

two years, I realized my error.

I was devastated when the attorney made off with hundreds

of my belongings to include childhood and Bar Mitzvah photos,

photos of my parents, hundreds of letters, my college

transcripts, personal and legal documents, and much more.

It was in November of last year when I first discovered

this man's true motives: to use me, and to cash in on our

casual relationship. And I did indeed learn a powerful lesson

by getting burned. I pray, too, that I will never make this

mistake again.

Nevertheless, the Lord chastened me through my blunder.

He did not let me off the hook. For God is no respecter of

persons. He had to discipline me, and there were times when I

felt His displeasure because of my poor choices.

I have been going through a grieving process over this.

But I am also on the road to recovery. At one point, however,

I was thinking of stepping down from my position as pastor of

this prison congregation because I had become uncertain of my

ability to truly hear from the Lord.

I do not want to dare stand behind a pulpit to preach to

men if I cannot discern what God is speaking at any given

moment. To many souls could get hurt by a minister who speaks

from his flesh, and not from the Spirit.

God, though, strengthened and encouraged my heart through

this experience. I am still grieving. I suffered personal

loss. And I suppose my ego has also been hurt.

After all, it is painful and embarrassing to realize that

one has been duped and deceived. That somehow a con man

penetrated my defenses and played me for a fool. Yet the Lord

has been a patient teacher. I'm wiser now, and much more

cautious. I will forever be more discerning. I will continue

to be forgiving, too.

David Berkowitz

January 20, 2005